Back in the States......and where do I belong?
After 17 days of seeing friends and family, as well as doing some amazing sessions, I am finally back where I belong. I am sitting in my huge window, looking out on the Connecticut autumn, a steaming cup of coffee in my hand and a cat screaming for attention. Outside my Marigolds are blooming in the most amazing of ways, reminding me of my grandmother. The last bumble bees of the season are flying around, lazily trying to collect as much pollen as possible before winter sets in.
Belonging is such an interesting notion, because when and where do we truly belong?
I moved to the States after giving up everything I had back in Denmark. Don't get me wrong, I had an amazing life. I had the most amazing little apartment in a really nice part of Copenhagen. I had wonderful friends nearby and a school that I absolutely loved. I saw my family on a regular basis and I had enough so I could go out once in a while and enjoy myself. Nothing was really, truly missing. Or so I thought. Because, honestly, I was a little bored.
I know, I know. Why give up everything you have, when you are content? Well, that is the thing. I don't do content very well. I have always had this urge inside of me, to go beyond content and strive for true happiness. That is why I became a photographer. I couldn't for the death of me, see myself working 9-5 in a job where I would do the same thing, day in and day out. I envy the people who can do that. I envy being able to just enjoy where you are, no need for something big to happen every other year.
But my wanderlust, along with opportunities, took me to the States. And before I knew it, I had found myself a man to love, who coincidentally loved me back. I swore I wouldn't do it. I swore I wouldn't move to the States. But I did. And it was the best decision of my life.
It has taken me a while to feel like I belong, and honestly, I am not sure that I ever completely will. But the truth is, I didn't truly belong back in Denmark either. I have always felt kinda out of place. Like something inside me didn't really fit. Like I was a piece of a misplaced puzzle, trying to match a completely different game.
No, belonging wasn't there.
Going back for a vacation to the place I was born, gave me some perspective. I was so busy seeing all the flaws back here, putting my home country on a pedestal, that I didn't give myself a chance to at least try to adapt. I felt like I stuck out like a sore thumb. But being away from it all, made be see, that I had already found the home I was longing for. After 2 years of wandering back and forth between Denmark and USA, both physically and emotionally, I realised that there is absolutely no reason, why I cannot have multiple homes. Home is where the heart is, after all.
I might not feel like I truly belong, but I don't think there is only one place for that. And for now, I decide that I belong here. In Connecticut with my husband. In my big window, with my Marigolds, my steaming coffe and my screaming cat. For now, the wanderlust has settled, and I am ready to help you create the most amazing pictures.
Please tell me, what is a home to you?